A New Home, Flashback, and My Valentine's Day

I meant to do this post days ago, but I got loaded with a bunch of unexpected homework (which seems to be going around, my friend Alanna has the same problem apparently. . . . .) This one is just a journal post (I haven't quite finished reading Jurassic Park) and just as a warning: it'll probably be fairly long. Ready? Excellent, 'cause here I go : )

I visited Maddie's family at their new home and was pleasantly surprised by what I saw. It's a cute place, they all have their own bathroom now, and they all seem to be very happy with it. They're not far, and I WILL make an effort to go visit them after all (take that, stupid dream!).

We all (Maddie, her little sisters, and I) ran around outside chasing each other and various dogs until it grew dark, upon which we went inside and played card games/watched wrestling (Jesse and Lily are MAJOR tomboys. . . .). It was great fun, being with them always brings out the little kid in me ^_^

*Sigh* Maddie's little sisters still beg us to pick them up and carry them on our backs, though. Maddie and I used to do this a lot when they were younger, but now they are just too darn heavy. *Shrug* Maybe they'll find some big people with stronger backs to pick them up, but I sure can't do it anymore.

Anyway, during one of these painful incidences, I set Jesse down and she looked up at me with an anxious expression in her eyes. I wondered if she had gotten hurt or something, but then she asked me if NHC ever told me that he loved me. I laughed and told her no; Maddie explained that people tell each other that when they're very serious, like thinking about getting married and whatnot. Hearing this, Jesse frowned like she was thinking about something very hard. That's when I grew suspicious and asked her if a boy told her he loved her (she and Lily are in 5th grade, by the way). Jesse nodded and Maddie seemed a bit shocked (to say the least), but I felt a strange feeling when she nodded. Very strange, I felt like I needed to protect her. I'm not sure why, but I wanted her to forget about boys and just keep thinking that they're icky for another three years or so. I'm fairly justified, though, I'd say. 5th grade is pretty young for kissing and saying "I love you" and all that jazz.

Anywho, this brought up the flashback that I mentioned at the top, which I'm going to explain now.

A few years ago, I was eating dinner with Maddie and her parents one night. Her mom (who's a nurse) was describing a patient of hers to Maddie's father, Maddie, and I. I don't remember the exact details of why he was in the hospital, but I do remember that he did many terrible things in his lifetime, such as rape innocent women. Maddie's mom admitted that she didn't treat this patient very well, and that she felt fairly guily for treating him badly. At the end of the day, she told us that she was very surprised when the patient threw his arms around her and whispered that no one had ever treated him the way she did. She found this puzzling, considering that she had treated him with almost no respect whatsoever. When Maddie's mom told us at the dinner table about the patient throwing his arms around her, Maddie's dad immediately looked up and wrapped his hand around Maddie's mom's wrist almost without thinking about it. This wasn't what caught my attention, though.

He had a fierce expression in his eyes; it was very different from the usual love and tenderness that he looked at Maddie's mom with. The look in his eyes was enough to make Maddie's Mom, Maddie, and I all freeze in the middle of dinner and stare up at him. He gazed very seriously into Maddie's mom's eyes and simply said, "Don't let him touch you ever again." Maddie's mom just nodded slowly, Maddie's dad dropped her wrist, and we all started eating again.

I was dimly aware of Maddie tapping me knee and whispering something under her breath, but I was gone, lost in another memory (yes, I'm about to describe a flashback during a flashback). I could immediately identify the strong expression in Maddie's dad's eyes due to a similar look that my brother had once given me.

I was about seven years old when this happened, so my brother (Jake) was about ten or eleven. We were at the beach one afternoon, and my mom gave me some exciting news: Jake had a new boogy board, so I would finally get to use his old one and boogy board with him and the other big kids. I only had one major rule that my mom gave me, which was to stay with the group (Jake, Christian, John, and Elizabeth) at all times. I, of course, agreed, and set out to learn how to boogy board.

My brother and his friends were all very nice, giving me pointers to help me catch waves, but I just watched them for the most part. I was just overjoyed to finally have my own boogy board (admittedly, it was my brother's old one, but it was now mine nonetheless), so watching and occasionally attempting to boogy board was great fun for me.

I was sitting on my board when a sudden movement in the distance caught my eye. Jake and the others were all focused on the waves, so no one else noticed it. My little kid brain imagined that the movement was a pretty dolphin swimming around, and I wanted to swim out farther to see what it was. Forgetting about my rule to stay with the group, I started paddling toward the spot where I had seen the movement. It was a longer distance away than I had thought, and I turned around to see how far from the shore I was. I was really far from the shore now, and my little rebellion made me feel sneaky. I paddled out even farther.

I saw the movement again, a splash that made me feel sure that something was in the water. However, the splash was going away from me this time, and I stopped paddling knowing that I wouldn't see whatever had caused the splash. That's when I spotted something floating in the water roughly where the splash had been. Curious, I paddled toward it. Once I got close enough to see what it was, I froze.

It was a fish, about a foot long, and it was grotesquely mauled. I won't go into the details, so I'll just tell you that it was torn, dead, and bleeding. I couldn't move or take my eyes off the fish, even though my mind made the connection that whatever had swam away was probably eating the fish (with, from the looks of it, very sharp teeth) and I should paddle back to shore as fast as I could. Despite this connection, I still couldn't move. I felt my stomach turn and things started to spin sickeningly (I realize now that I had been dangerously close to passing out in the middle of the water at the time) when his hand closed around my wrist. I finally tore my gaze away from the half eaten fish to look at my brother. Jake's eyes had the same fierce glint in them that Maddie's dad had, which is why I had this memory during dinner. His gaze wasn't angry or fearful, the best word that I can think of to describe the look they had isn't even an adjective. Protection.

He had paddled after me when he realized that I wasn't going to turn around, and he now told me slowly that I was too far away from the shore and that whatever had attacked the fish might still be around. It wasn't his words that snapped me out of my shock, but the strong look in his eyes. We both paddled back to shore with all the strength we had, and I stayed out of the water for a good amount of time after that.

Anyway, the point to all of this is that most of us will do a lot to protect the ones we love. It's odd, but I had that feeling when Jesse told me that a boy said he loved her. I guess I love Maddie, Jesse, and Lily. I underestimated the bond that I have with them, I know now that them moving away won't change anything, really. I'll just have to make more of an effort to see them, that's all.

It's this revelation that inspired me to believe that my strange bridge dream was wrong. I WILL stay in touch with Maddie, and we will not drift apart. Maybe my interpretation of that dream was wrong or it was just a random dream, but I refuse to accept that it means that I don't want to keep in touch with Maddie anymore. So there.

My last topic is how my Valentine's Day was. I didn't think that I'd get to see NHC on Valentine's Day, but he dropped by and we exchanged chocolate ^_^ It was another pleasant surprise, (last weekend was way better than I thought it'd be. . . .) which is weird, because I don't usually like surprises. *Shrug*

After NHC left, I headed for Bubbles's house and hung out with her and Tay for the rest of the day. We had a HUGE dinner with Bubbles's family, which was beyond delicious (and we helped to make parts of it, even though I can't really cook). I'd say that it was the best Valentine's Day I ever had.

Before I end this post, (which I warned was going to be long!) I just want to mention that it'll probably be awhile before I post again. I'm heading out of town on Friday, and I'm not sure whether I'll get to post while I'm there, I'll probably be quite busy. . . . .

~I hope that post wasn't confusing or boring! Or both. . . . .