Becoming Jane

Ah, Jane Austen. I enjoyed watching this, but it was heartbreakingly sad. I'll definitely have to read her books someday, they'll probably be ten times more amazing than the movies. I'm not saying the movies are bad, but typically movies are always a bit worse than the books that they're based off of. *Shrug* At least, that's my opinion.

I admire that Jane Austen didn't accept Mr. Wisley's proposal when she had the chance, that she wanted to marry for love. Unfortunately for her, love came to her in a most desirable and yet impossible form. To me, and I'm not usually the type of person who thinks this way, fate seemed to frown upon Jane Austen and Tom Lefroy. Not in a forbidden love kind of way, and not that well-maybe-they're-just-not-meant-to-be kind of way either. I saw it in a very simple view: that they're love was true, but fate did not deal them the right hand for them to pursue it.

As a movie, I enjoyed it very much. My favorite scene was the one in which Jane was walking in the woods with that deaf friend of hers, communicating to him in sign language. Tom, who appears to be numb from suppressing his emotions for her for too long, walks up to Jane and begins to apologize for something that I won't reveal : P Jane responds very curtly, almost coldly. However, the deaf man asks her in sign language if she is in love with Tom. Jane shakes her head vigorously and goes into a long explanation as to why she doesn't love Tom in sign language. Then Tom, appearing to snap out of his numb reverie-ish state, runs forword growling, "I can't take this!" and proceeds to kiss Jane fiercely. Jane kisses him back intensely, as if she too had been surpressing her emotions for too long. Then, once their lips part, she starts beating his chest with all of the force she can muster. The deaf man watches all of this with increasing confusion, and I found this scene to be quite funny/bittersweet.

Despite my positive opinion of the movie, I do have to admit that I liked Pride and Prejudice better. There was more happening in that movie, more to get into. Also, I thought that Keira Knightley looked more like the role of a young woman of the eighteenth century than Anne Hathaway did. They both did incredible as far as the acting goes, but Anne Hathaway just didn't look the part to me. This is just one small complaint, though, because Anne Hathaway did a fantastic job (as always).

I'll leave you readers with this: If you're thinking of watching a Jane Austen based movie, then watch Pride and Prejudice. If you like that, then watch Becoming Jane. I suppose I'll have to watch Sense and Sensibility someday, but probably not for a while. Once I do, it'll be interesting to see how it compares with the others...

So, what is SunnyD reading now? Well, I'm reading something for my bookclub called Gone by Michael Grant. I'm the first person of my bookclub to read it, so my review will affect how many others read it after me. I'm about halfway through it, and I think I'll give it a lightly positive review (but that could change). The story is intriguing and the author writes it well, but the ending is very key. Basically, the entire story is centered around one pivotal aspect of their altered world, and I won't know whether or not I approve of the book until I get to the answer of the huge mystery. It'll be at the end, though, because once it is discovered that'll be the end of all the central plot points.

~I'm enjoying the weekend, I hope you all are too!

Extras and An Inspirational Story

I'm finally finished with the Uglies series (unless he writes another one, of course) and I was pretty satisfied with it. The ending was great, it left me with a nice closing feeling. Every piece of the plot was solved, and there was a good deal of action. However, I did have my issues with it. . . .

First and foremost was the little romance story within it. The author gets a huge FAIL from me as far as the romance goes. He really shouldn't have even tried, it just sucked. It was surprising, because I don't remember the romance in his other books being as horrible as the romance in this one. I literally found myself skipping the romantic parts because they were so awfully written. They were random and loveless. Ugh, just TERRIBLE! *Deep Breath* I'll stop now before I go overboard, but take my word for it, if you read this skip over the romantic parts.

My second complaint was the beginning. It's not that I couldn't get into it, but he lingered too long on certain parts that I don't think he needed to spend so much time describing. Sure, they were pretty central to the story, but I wish that he'd made the part with the Sly Girls a bit more brief. If he'd done that, I think he would've had more room to describe the ending climax, which I would've like a bit more detail on. *Shrug* Not a huge issue, but definitely something worth mentioning.

Other than that, it was a good book. It was really easy to step into the main character's shoes, and the mystery of the inhumans was fascinating. Again, the ending was my favorite part, it was really well done. *Applause for Scott Westerfeld*

Now, for the inspirational story topic. I was had been at Maddie's house from about 5:00 PM to 10:00 PM (it was great seeing her, it had been a while since I last saw her) and her mom was giving me a ride home. Maddie's little sisters, Jesse and Lily, were in the back of the van being relatively quiet for a change. Maddie's mom was describing the difference between a stick shift and an automatic when something occured to me.

I just want to say this now: I would never ask this personal a question to any of my other friends' parents, but Maddie's parents practically helped raise me, and I was comfortable asking them anything.

So anyway, I asked her how she met Maddie's dad. I know that seems pretty random, and I'm not exactly sure how my brain went from the topic of driving stick shift to how Maddie's mom met Maddie's dad, but it did.

I won't describe the story she told me and the twins because it's not my story to tell. I will tell you that it was very inspirational, and it made me really believe that true love is out there for everyone. It wasn't all love and happiness, though, there were many hardships in the story as well. Her main point was that everything happens for a reason, and you might not necessarily see the reason for something happening while it's going on, but eventually you'll be able to look back and say something like, "Wow, I can't believe that something good actually came out of that."

It made me wonder a lot about what the future holds. I've decided that for the time being I'll just go with the flow, and maybe someday I'll have a story of my own.

~My next post will be about the movie Becoming Jane with Anne Hathaway starring as Jane Austen. I hope it'll be good (I won't have much to compare it to, though. The only other Jane Austen based movie I've seen is the Pride and Prejudice with Keira Knightly, and I haven't read any of the books).

Natural Disaster

Hehe, I was bored so I stole this from Alanna : P All you have to do is this:

1. Put your iPod, iTunes, (or any MP3 player) on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW BAD IT SOUNDS.

1) IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Should've Said No- Taylor Swift

2) WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Banana Pancakes- Jack Johnson (uh, suuuurrrreee)

3) WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Trust Me- The Fray (wow, that one worked pretty well)

4) HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Soul- Matchbox Twenty

5) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Makes Me Wonder- Maroon 5 (that question DOES make me wonder....)

6) WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Photograph- Nickelback

7) WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Everyday- Toby Lightman

8) WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Thnks Fr Th Mmrs- Fall Out Boy

9) WHAT IS 2+2?
Stairway to Heaven- Led Zeppelin

10) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Tremble for My Beloved- Collective Soul (whoa, sorry guys, but I don't tremble for you...)

11) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
If I Never See Your Face Again- Maroon 5 and Rihanna (NO, why couldn't I have gotten Tremble for my Beloved for THIS one?!)

12) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Wake Me Up When September Ends- Green Day

13) WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Pocketful of Sunshine- Natasha Bedingfield (haha, that'd be nice...)

14) WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Secret Valentine- We the Kings (eh, kinda makes sense... except we're not "secret" *Shrug*)

15) WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Kryptonite- 3 Doors Down (Lmao, no way)

16) WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Walking on Air- Kerli (HEY! *Glare* They'd better not, lol)

17) WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Everytime We Touch- Cascada (Um. . . . . okaaayy)

18) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Twenty-four- Switchfoot

19) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Basketcase- Green Day (*Shifty Eyes* Lol)

20) WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
This Love- Maroon 5 (I disagree with this one)

21) HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Bella's Lullaby- Carter Burwell (what??)

22) WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Boston- Augustana

23) WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Must Have Done Something Right- Relient k

24) WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Hate (I Really Don't Like You)- Plain White T's

25) WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Oxygen- Colbie Caillat (??????)

26) WHAT MAKES YOU SCARED?
Tired of Being Sorry- Enrique Iglesias

27) DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Fallin'- Alicia Keys

28) IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Your Guardian Angel- The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (lmao)

29) WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Lonely Day- System of a Down (this one makes sense, but I didn't have a lonely day...)

30) WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS NOTE AS?
Natural Disaster- Plain White T's

The Luxe and Annoying Template Problems

I finished reading The Luxe, and I was VERY impressed! This book was captivating from start to finish, there was never a boring or slow moment. I highly recommend this book to anyone who's looking for a good read (and it's the first of a series, so the fun will continue! Yay!)

The story is set in Manhattan of the year 1899. The basic plot is a tangled web of forbidden loves, with a little murder mystery mixed in. If you like lots of drama in a book, definitely read this. I honestly can't find a single negative thing to say about it, which is rare for me. . . . . . .

I especially enjoyed the ending; it was both surprising AND satisfying! The author tied the loose ends together quite well, and set up a nice little cliff hanger-ish ending for the second book, Rumors (which I'll certainly be reading as soon as I can get my hands on it).

What am I reading now? Well, lucky me, there's a huge wait list at the library for Rumors, so I'm reading Extras. This is the fourth book in Scott Westerfeld's series (which also consists of Uglies, Pretties, and Specials) that I lost interest in for a while. . . . It's good sci-fi, but sometimes it gets hard to follow and I find myself thinking, "Why on earth am I reading this? There are so many better books that I could be reading. . . . ."

Not that I'm against Scott Westerfeld's series. It's pretty good, but there's better stuff out there for sci-fi lovers. *Shrug* Oh well, I'll finish Extras and then finally be done with the series.

Now, before I end this post, I'd like to ask you readers one thing: Do any of you have problems changing your template? My computer won't let me : ( Whenever I try an error comes up. *Huff* It's very annoying, and I'm DYING for a new background (no joke, I have at least five backgrounds that I'm just waiting to use).

~Goodbye from your frustrated SunnyD

A Snow Day of Mixed Emotions

This is a journal post, my next one will probably be a book review. For now, I'm just talking about my crazy snow day. . . . .

I'll start from the beginning, which was about 10:00 this morning. I was eating breakfast with my parents, eager to start my snow day (there was only about an inch or two of snow, but that's enough to sled and stuff). I had told my dad on Saturday a little about a biology current event that I was working on, and he brought it up asking me what the title of the article was. It's "Tracking Forest Creatures on the Move" and that's all I told my dad. *Sigh* He exploded at me, saying that an article about technology has absolutely no relation to biology and that I'd slacked off on it. He didn't even read the article or my current event paper. I was feeling stubborn, so I argued with him about it, saying that my article WAS related to biology. He screamed at me, threatening to keep my in my room for the snow day, cut me off from my friends, and make redo my entire paper for giving him lip.

I just stood there and took the yelling, I wasn't worried at all that he'd physically hurt me. He's never physically hurt me. I could feel a the angry tears well up in my eyes (I still don't think I deserved to be screamed at for my paper, I was downright proud of the job I did on it) but I held his furious gaze despite my tears. As soon as I could get away I fled to my room for about an hour, waiting for him to cool down and waiting for my tears to stop. My loved ones have more influence on me than they think. One harsh word from them can feel like a slap across the face. I can barely keep myself together when my dad screams at me for valid reasons, but trivial things like that affect me even more. Being yelled at by my father for small, unimportant things makes me feel worthless. Like he'll never really love me.

That's not true, though. I know that my father loves me. He put up with a lot of abuse from his parents as a kid, and I know he does his best to raise my brother and I differently. His explosions aren't a normal occurance, but when they happen I feel like a part of me is breaking inside. Maybe my heart. I don't know.

The last time he yelled at me like that it was far worse. I came downstairs one morning and he didn't think that I was dressed warmly enough for the weather. I thought I was dressed perfectly warmly enough. That earned me a lot yelling, and I actually ran from him that time. I'd like to lie and say that I just wanted to get away from his explosion, but that's not true. I was actually afraid that he'd hurt me that time. I couldn't control my tears as I ran to catch the bus.

I was lucky, though. It was so early in the morning that the darkness provided some privacy for me. Bubbles got on the bus one stop later, and the darkness hid my face. I managed to keep my voice even so that she wouldn't be able to tell that I was crying. I wasn't in the mood for pointless comfort.

I think she knew that something was wrong, but by the time it was light enough for her to see me I had myself under control and had discreetly cleaned up my face. I did something similar this morning. Once I had myself under control, I went back downstairs to face my dad. He had calmed down quite a bit and seemed far more reasonable. I showed him my paper, and he helped me make a few changes. It took almost no time at all to "fix" my paper. I was out of my house by about 11:00.

From there, my day improved drastically. I met up with Maddie, her little sisters, and Bubbles to go sledding. Maddie's mom drove us to a great hill for sledding, and we had tons of fun racing down the hills together.

Maddie participated in our brief snowball fights, but she's not one for sledding. Mostly it was just Bubbles, myself, and her little sisters. I must say, I'm a little sore from falling so much (there were several ramps) but that was some of the best sledding I've done all winter. Excluding Dare Devil Drop, of course : )

Maddie's mom dropped Bubbles and I off at Bubbles's house a few hours later. Bubbles's little brother, Nick, and Jake (not my brother, different Jake) were all there, and we had the house to ourselves. That was interesting.

We played Sardines (a form of hide-and-seek), listened to Jake's country music (which actually wasn't half bad), ate lunch, and played Clue. By then our snow clothes were dry enough from Bubbles's fireplace, so the five of us all went outside together.

They made me play football in the snow. Again : ( But I'm getting better! I actually scored one touchdown ^_^ My team still lost, but that's the best I've played yet.

We headed to Dare Devil Drop once we were done playing snow football, but we didn't sled down it. The view from the top of Dare Devil Drop is incredible, especially when it has snowed, so Bubbles and I went to simply gaze at the icy forest.

Her little brother, Jake, and Nick went to bounce on this trampoline out in the woods (Bubbles and I didn't participate, 'cause we know the girl who owns it) and after that brief escapade we all headed back to Jake's house.

There we played card games (I actually won a round of Spoons!) until it started to get dark, and I trudged home feeling quite peaceful. My morning of hurt was almost entirely forgotten, and my dad seemed to act like nothing had happened.

It still helps to write all my feelings out. I hope you guys didn't really read all that, it wasn't a very interesting post.

~I promise a better post next time!

Jurassic Park, Moonstruck, and a Nice Weekend

In the hope of shaking things up a bit, I will be discussing a book, movies, and do a journal post! I'll try keep it as short as possible (I know, I can drone FOREVER)
: P

I finally finished reading Jurassic Park after years of watching the movie (and being ordered by my brother to read the book at some point in my life, lol). Before I begin my review, I just want to say that I LOVE the movie and I've watched it way too many times to count. I had very high expectations for this book.

I enjoyed it, sure, but I couldn't help noticing tiny differences between it and the movie during the entire book. Usually I HATE it when a movie don't stay true to the book that it's based on, but in this case I preferred many of the changes that the movie made to it. The movie had more drama, of course, but it also had a few connecting factors that made the story flow better in my opinion *Shrug*

One of my favorite aspects of this book were the characters that Michael Crichton created. My all time favorite character in the story would have to be Ian Malcolm, hands down. He blatantly states his opinion without the slightest care for how his peers view him. Also, he might be an arrogant man, but his theory was right in the end. So brilliant. So blunt. So Malcolm. ^_^

Here's a good example of Ian Malcolm in the book:

"I'll make it simple," Malcolm said. "A karate master does not kill people with his bare hands. He does not lose his temper and kill his wife. The person who kills is the person who has no discipline, no restraint, and who has purchased his power in the form of a Saturday night special. And that is the kind of power that science fosters, and permits. And that is why you think that to build a place like this is simple."
"It was simple," Hammond insisted.
"Then why did it go wrong?"

They changed Malcolm in the movie. They made him out to be kind of silly-ish, and his thing in the movie was "life will find a way." In the book, Malcolm pretty much preached the Chaos theory to anyone who would listen. He predicted every twist and turn that the park took, and he was never surprised when he was proven correct. He's such an awesome character : )

Malcolm wasn't the only character that the movie changed, pretty much every character was altered in the movie and it would take way too long for me to go through it all. Another example is Dr. Grant: In the book, he loves children and willingly risks his own neck for them without any motivation but their safety. In the movie, they made it kind of a journey for him. He started out with a strong dislike for children, but by the end he had unwillingly formed a strong bond with Hammond's grandchildren which altered his view of kids.

Another large difference is the endings. In the movie, they leave with with the heartwarming scene of Dr. Grant, Dr. Sattler, Hammond, etc. flying peacefully off into the sunset in a helicopter while the grandchildren are fast asleep in Dr. Grant's arms. Dr. Grant smiles at Dr. Sattler (they sort of have a thing going on in the movie, but she's just his student in the book) and it is a very touching smile, full of promise.

In the book, they pretty much are flying away as fast as they can while the island erupts in violent explosions in the background (there's no volcano, they're bombing it). Dr. Sattler is comforting one of the sobbing children as Dr. Grant is a bit disappointed/relieved that he'll never get to study the dinosaurs as much as he'd like.

Yeah, it leaves you with pretty different feelings, doesn't it?

Also, the book makes you really think about science as a whole rather than just genetics. It's a very interesting read, but I'm not left with a great respect for the author. He's ideas are fantastic, his writing. . . . . . not so much. Still, it's a great book for any sci-fi lovers out there.

Now, time for a movie review. Moonstruck came out in 1987, so of course I didn't go seeking this one out. My friend Bubbles has awesome parents, and they forced us to watch it with them (despite our protests). I didn't expect to like it, and I didn't. I loved it.

This movie is great. I wouldn't exactly call it a romantic comedy, it's more dramatic than that. It is hilarious, though, and the romance was the central plot. It's also about family loyalty, so it's not ALL lovey-dovey.

The actors did a great job. It stars Cher and Nicholas Cage, and they sure played their parts with commitment. I was truly blown away. Oh, and just to clarify, it's not a musical. I know that the picture I posted makes it seem like it is, but it's not. That's the best picture I could find for it, so don't be fooled.

Anyway, if my recommendation isn't enough for you, it won three Oscars, fifteen other awards, and eleven nominations. Yes, it is that good.

However, I suggest that kids only 13+ up watch it. There is some adult content. Not a lot, though, just one scene really. *Giggle* It got awkward with Bubbles, me, Tay, Devin, and Bubbles's parents all watching that together. Anyone else out there feel weird when everyone in the room is turned on by the same scene? : P We all avoided eye contact for a while after that part. . . .

Now for my last topic: my vacation-ish weekend (which was last weekend, I know I'm slow to post). I went to my friend Bubbles's riverhouse with her, Tay, Devin, and Matt. It was quite relaxing, and surprisingly warm too. We did some hiking, went in the water, played rummy, watched Moonstruck, and ate good food. It was great : ) Her riverhouse is awesome; I totally loved the bunkbeds. It was like a giant sleepover at night (with me, Bubbles, and Tay of course. Devin was in a different room and Matt slept at his dad's house).

Bubbles and Tay are some of my wildest friends, and I love them to death. My only complaint is how they pressure me when it comes to NHC. They don't really mean to, but they pry about him too often. I trust them and everything, but sometimes I want to tell them to butt out. *Sigh* They help me, though, considering they have WAY more experience with guys than I do. Telling them to butt out is not smart, especially since I need their advice sometimes. . . . .

Lol, I think Bubbles and Tay should write a book together. They know a LOT about guy's heads, if you ever need to figure out whether a guy likes you or not, go to them. They know exactly how you can test to see if he likes you or not, how much, and whether he'd go out with you. All without the dude having a clue as to what you're doing. They've been very helpful over the years : P

Anyway, they pressure me more than they realize. I know they don't really mean to, but it's still annoying. They tell me to do these physical things with NHC that I know neither of us are ready for/want to do. They mean well (they claim that he might get bored with me if I don't 'make some kind of move on him' or something like that) but they really don't know what they're talking about in this situation. NHC and I are at a very good place in our relationship (in my opinion at least, I can't exactly speak for him) and there is NO way that I'm going to change things when it's going so well. I'd be SO uncomfortable if we went any further at the moment, and I don't see how that would accomplish anything. So Bubbles and Tay will just have to deal with it, 'cause I'm definitely not listening to them this time.

I do hope that I can revisit Bubbles's riverhouse soon, it was incredibly relaxing. . . . . *Dreamy Sigh* I wonder what it'll be like during the summer when the water's even warmer. . . . .

~Peace out, my wonderful readers : )

A New Home, Flashback, and My Valentine's Day

I meant to do this post days ago, but I got loaded with a bunch of unexpected homework (which seems to be going around, my friend Alanna has the same problem apparently. . . . .) This one is just a journal post (I haven't quite finished reading Jurassic Park) and just as a warning: it'll probably be fairly long. Ready? Excellent, 'cause here I go : )

I visited Maddie's family at their new home and was pleasantly surprised by what I saw. It's a cute place, they all have their own bathroom now, and they all seem to be very happy with it. They're not far, and I WILL make an effort to go visit them after all (take that, stupid dream!).

We all (Maddie, her little sisters, and I) ran around outside chasing each other and various dogs until it grew dark, upon which we went inside and played card games/watched wrestling (Jesse and Lily are MAJOR tomboys. . . .). It was great fun, being with them always brings out the little kid in me ^_^

*Sigh* Maddie's little sisters still beg us to pick them up and carry them on our backs, though. Maddie and I used to do this a lot when they were younger, but now they are just too darn heavy. *Shrug* Maybe they'll find some big people with stronger backs to pick them up, but I sure can't do it anymore.

Anyway, during one of these painful incidences, I set Jesse down and she looked up at me with an anxious expression in her eyes. I wondered if she had gotten hurt or something, but then she asked me if NHC ever told me that he loved me. I laughed and told her no; Maddie explained that people tell each other that when they're very serious, like thinking about getting married and whatnot. Hearing this, Jesse frowned like she was thinking about something very hard. That's when I grew suspicious and asked her if a boy told her he loved her (she and Lily are in 5th grade, by the way). Jesse nodded and Maddie seemed a bit shocked (to say the least), but I felt a strange feeling when she nodded. Very strange, I felt like I needed to protect her. I'm not sure why, but I wanted her to forget about boys and just keep thinking that they're icky for another three years or so. I'm fairly justified, though, I'd say. 5th grade is pretty young for kissing and saying "I love you" and all that jazz.

Anywho, this brought up the flashback that I mentioned at the top, which I'm going to explain now.

A few years ago, I was eating dinner with Maddie and her parents one night. Her mom (who's a nurse) was describing a patient of hers to Maddie's father, Maddie, and I. I don't remember the exact details of why he was in the hospital, but I do remember that he did many terrible things in his lifetime, such as rape innocent women. Maddie's mom admitted that she didn't treat this patient very well, and that she felt fairly guily for treating him badly. At the end of the day, she told us that she was very surprised when the patient threw his arms around her and whispered that no one had ever treated him the way she did. She found this puzzling, considering that she had treated him with almost no respect whatsoever. When Maddie's mom told us at the dinner table about the patient throwing his arms around her, Maddie's dad immediately looked up and wrapped his hand around Maddie's mom's wrist almost without thinking about it. This wasn't what caught my attention, though.

He had a fierce expression in his eyes; it was very different from the usual love and tenderness that he looked at Maddie's mom with. The look in his eyes was enough to make Maddie's Mom, Maddie, and I all freeze in the middle of dinner and stare up at him. He gazed very seriously into Maddie's mom's eyes and simply said, "Don't let him touch you ever again." Maddie's mom just nodded slowly, Maddie's dad dropped her wrist, and we all started eating again.

I was dimly aware of Maddie tapping me knee and whispering something under her breath, but I was gone, lost in another memory (yes, I'm about to describe a flashback during a flashback). I could immediately identify the strong expression in Maddie's dad's eyes due to a similar look that my brother had once given me.

I was about seven years old when this happened, so my brother (Jake) was about ten or eleven. We were at the beach one afternoon, and my mom gave me some exciting news: Jake had a new boogy board, so I would finally get to use his old one and boogy board with him and the other big kids. I only had one major rule that my mom gave me, which was to stay with the group (Jake, Christian, John, and Elizabeth) at all times. I, of course, agreed, and set out to learn how to boogy board.

My brother and his friends were all very nice, giving me pointers to help me catch waves, but I just watched them for the most part. I was just overjoyed to finally have my own boogy board (admittedly, it was my brother's old one, but it was now mine nonetheless), so watching and occasionally attempting to boogy board was great fun for me.

I was sitting on my board when a sudden movement in the distance caught my eye. Jake and the others were all focused on the waves, so no one else noticed it. My little kid brain imagined that the movement was a pretty dolphin swimming around, and I wanted to swim out farther to see what it was. Forgetting about my rule to stay with the group, I started paddling toward the spot where I had seen the movement. It was a longer distance away than I had thought, and I turned around to see how far from the shore I was. I was really far from the shore now, and my little rebellion made me feel sneaky. I paddled out even farther.

I saw the movement again, a splash that made me feel sure that something was in the water. However, the splash was going away from me this time, and I stopped paddling knowing that I wouldn't see whatever had caused the splash. That's when I spotted something floating in the water roughly where the splash had been. Curious, I paddled toward it. Once I got close enough to see what it was, I froze.

It was a fish, about a foot long, and it was grotesquely mauled. I won't go into the details, so I'll just tell you that it was torn, dead, and bleeding. I couldn't move or take my eyes off the fish, even though my mind made the connection that whatever had swam away was probably eating the fish (with, from the looks of it, very sharp teeth) and I should paddle back to shore as fast as I could. Despite this connection, I still couldn't move. I felt my stomach turn and things started to spin sickeningly (I realize now that I had been dangerously close to passing out in the middle of the water at the time) when his hand closed around my wrist. I finally tore my gaze away from the half eaten fish to look at my brother. Jake's eyes had the same fierce glint in them that Maddie's dad had, which is why I had this memory during dinner. His gaze wasn't angry or fearful, the best word that I can think of to describe the look they had isn't even an adjective. Protection.

He had paddled after me when he realized that I wasn't going to turn around, and he now told me slowly that I was too far away from the shore and that whatever had attacked the fish might still be around. It wasn't his words that snapped me out of my shock, but the strong look in his eyes. We both paddled back to shore with all the strength we had, and I stayed out of the water for a good amount of time after that.

Anyway, the point to all of this is that most of us will do a lot to protect the ones we love. It's odd, but I had that feeling when Jesse told me that a boy said he loved her. I guess I love Maddie, Jesse, and Lily. I underestimated the bond that I have with them, I know now that them moving away won't change anything, really. I'll just have to make more of an effort to see them, that's all.

It's this revelation that inspired me to believe that my strange bridge dream was wrong. I WILL stay in touch with Maddie, and we will not drift apart. Maybe my interpretation of that dream was wrong or it was just a random dream, but I refuse to accept that it means that I don't want to keep in touch with Maddie anymore. So there.

My last topic is how my Valentine's Day was. I didn't think that I'd get to see NHC on Valentine's Day, but he dropped by and we exchanged chocolate ^_^ It was another pleasant surprise, (last weekend was way better than I thought it'd be. . . .) which is weird, because I don't usually like surprises. *Shrug*

After NHC left, I headed for Bubbles's house and hung out with her and Tay for the rest of the day. We had a HUGE dinner with Bubbles's family, which was beyond delicious (and we helped to make parts of it, even though I can't really cook). I'd say that it was the best Valentine's Day I ever had.

Before I end this post, (which I warned was going to be long!) I just want to mention that it'll probably be awhile before I post again. I'm heading out of town on Friday, and I'm not sure whether I'll get to post while I'm there, I'll probably be quite busy. . . . .

~I hope that post wasn't confusing or boring! Or both. . . . .

The Adoration of Jenna Fox

I'm just going to do a quick post about a book that I recently finished, that's all. No journal post today (I'm sure you're all VERY heartbroken about that, lol)

The Adoration of Jenna Fox was okay, but I wouldn't recommend it. It's not that it wasn't good, but there are better things out there to read. I suppose that this is a good one for you if you're a reader who enjoys deep books that make you think, but there's not much excitement in the story. I personally picked it up for the sci-fi, but I was disappointed. The story is set in the future, but that's about it. The whole plot is centered around Jenna Fox, the technological advances are just background information.

The writing style was great, though. I couldn't stop reading it after the first chapter even if I wanted to. I guess I'll give a short synopsis and wrap this up. . . . .

The main character, Jenna Fox, has just awoken from an eighteen month coma. She has absolutely no recollection of who she was before the coma, and she doesn't even remember the basics (walking, talking, etc.) Things slowly come back to her, like her memories, but they come slowly. Before long, Jenna discovers something pertaining to the reason of her coma (I'm being vague to avoid ruining the book. . . . .) that'll blow your mind. The author is very creative, I'll give her that.

To sum my opinion up, I liked it okay, but I've read better. It's a short book though, so if you decide to read it after all, it goes REALLY quickly.

~My next book post will be about Jurassic Park, and I'll have a LOT more to say about that!

Identity

What is it exactly that makes us who we are?

Is it the little things? The way Nikki will laugh at anything, even if it isn't funny? Alanna's hand gestures when she's passionate about something? The way Synfan will blatantly state her opinion about certain things and not care what anyone else thinks? The way Maddie's eyes sparkle when she plays the piano?

Or is it the bigger details of our personalities that make each of us who we are? Nikki's faith? Alanna's spirit? Synfan's heart? Maddie's beauty (inside and out)?

It didn't used to bother me that I couldn't answer questions like these. Now it does. I want to know.

Is there even a real answer to questions like these?

Inkdeath and My Strange Homeroom Situation

Whew! I've finally completed the final book of the Inkheart trilogy, and it was a very good read. If I had the choice, I would've read it all in one sitting. The storyline is so intriguing, it's one of those books that you just HAVE to know what happens next.

I won't go into detail of the entire plot, but I'll give a brief overview: Mo was the main character in this book (at least in my mind, maybe others have different opinions) so I'll focus on him. He's got this deep inner battle about who he wants to be, Mortimer or the Bluejay? Who is the Bluejay, you might ask? The Bluejay is the hero of Fenoglio's "Inkworld", he's destined to kill the Adderhead, who is the evil ruler of the Inkworld. At the end of Inkspell, Mo was actually forced to bind the Adderhead a book that would make him immortal. Kind of the opposite of killing him, really. However, he did sort of curse the book (what he really did I don't feel like explaining) so there's still hope that he can kill the Adderhead. All he has to do is write heart, spell, and death in its pages. That's why the series is Inkheart, Inkspell, and Inkdeath.

But Mo is not just the Bluejay, he's also a husband and a father. His wife, Resa, wants him to return with her to our world (she's expecting his second child and wants a normal life for their baby), and he's not sure if he wants to go back. Mo does some pretty incredible things in this book, ranging from bringing a man back from the dead to surviving horrible, deadly torture. I won't tell you if he winds up being Mortimer or the Bluejay, you'll just have to read it and find out : P

Now, for my opinions: I had a few minor complaints, but my biggest one was the point of view. The story was told in third person limited point of view, and it would switch among several different characters: Mo, Resa, Meggie, Farid, Fenoglio, Elinor, Orpheus, Dustfinger, Violante, the Adderhead, Jacopo, etc. I don't mind when the point of view switches from different characters, but too many switches can make things confusing.

All in all, I highly recommend the Inkheart trilogy to anyone who enjoys fantasy books! They are very captivating books; I found it difficult to put Inkdeath down!

Now, for my journal portion. Something odd occured in my homeroom class, and now everyone in my class thinks I'm crazy/weird. *Sigh*

About two months ago, I stood up in my homeroom class to say the pledge of allegiance like any other day. However, something that would seem fairly normal happened to catch my eye. Across the room (and my homeroom is in my school's auditorium, so she was pretty far away) I saw a girl clutch at her stomach when she rose to say the pledge. What seemed odd to me was that she didn't grimace in pain or anything, she just put a hand on her stomach. While I listened to the school announcements, I tried to think of reasons that a person would grab their stomach if they weren't in pain. The only logical thing that I could come up with was that she was pregnant.

I know, that sounds incredibly weird, but I couldn't shake the idea from my mind. I leaned over to Jenna and whispered, "Does that girl look pregnant to you?" I probably should've whispered more quietly, because everyone in my homeroom turned to look at me like I was nuts. Jenna asked me which girl I was talking about, and I described to her where the girl was sitting. My homeroom class all looked at her, and looked back at me again like I was even crazier. I was feeling pretty embarrassed at this point, and Jenna said "Nooooo," like I was some kind of idiot.

I tried to forget about this incident, hoping that people would forget about my brief moment of oddness. However, last Wednesday (a few months after the incident), Veronica leaned over to me and whispered, "That girl IS pregnant!"

My homeroom (including me) all turned in shock to peer at the girl. Sure enough, there was a small but definite bulge on her belly. A part of me was amazed that I was right, but another part of me really wished that Veronica hadn't said anything. Now my homeroom class thinks that I have some freaky sixth sense about knowing when girls are pregnant. I tried to explain that I had just noticed her grab her stomach, but they still think I'm weird. Next time I notice odd things, I should just keep my mouth shut. . . . .

That's about it for now. . . . Oh, I'm proud of GOS for moving on from loser-boy!! *Round of Applause* She no longer feels anything for him, and now she has a new (and FAR better) crush! Bubbles and TQ are still pointedly giving each other the silent treatment, though. In result, I don't get to talk to TQ anymore, which sucks. I really wish that they hadn't broken up, but that's life. *Shrug*

Also, (I can't believe I'm admitting this) I miss NHC. I know that doesn't sound bad, but it's extremely sad how badly I miss him. I really shouldn't complain (he's beyond a great boyfriend, he calls me to keep in touch 'cause we go to different high schools) but I can't help it. If I could just stop thinking about him until I get to see him again, maybe it would be easier. Haha, easier said than done. I can't get him out of my head, it's hopeless to even bother trying. I also really hate dreaming about him, it's just torture. I'll wake up and then remember that I still can't see him for a while. Honestly, I just don't see how long distance relationships could possibly work. I'm having trouble just being away from him for more than three weeks, how could couples possibly work if they hardly EVER see each other??

I know that I can last another two weeks, though, so I'll just have to deal with my pathetic-ness for now.

~I hope this post wasn't boring (not that anyone's said that my blog is boring, lol *Shifty Eyes*)